“Yes, Mitt, please.”

Today’s sample is a short but sweet one, and it comes from Archive Of Our Own. If you haven’t been there, I really recommend it. In fact, it was VERY hard to find a fic from there to put here today. Every fic I came across was well-written, with very little to pick on. So I had to pick one that had questionable subject matter. Thankfully, the subject is bizarre enough I think you’ll like it.

Anyway. My own fic (hint, hint!) is on AO3, and it’s a great site. So is one of my fave fics of all time, Bittersweet. The urge for me to write some Rogue/Logan, or Logan/Jean, or Logan/anything is overwhelming whenever I read that fic. Maybe I’ll start soon. Hmmm…

Mitt Romney fanfiction.

Under the cut for Mitt’s possessiveness.

Today’s work is called “First Gaydies.”

Okay, so I found this in one of my old notebooks a few days ago. The notebook was from 8th grade, roughly around the time the last presidential campaign was in full swing and, to combat the homophobia in both their campaigns, I took pleasure in writing Romney/Santorum smut. I told Assvengersplz/IrisKana about finding this and she told me I should post it and lo and behold I am.

I’m so incredibly sorry for this and I’m infinitely ashamed of myself. Like, no, actually, I’m really really sorry, okay, this is pure crack and I’m so sorry, please don’t hurt me.

Okay, author, I am truly sorry for your fic to be on this blog. You write very well. But The subject matter is this:

Mitt Romney, who ran for the presidency last year and got shut down (thank fuck). He’s a homophobe.

Rick Santorum was very nearly in Mitt Romney’s place. He is also a homophobe.

Here’s the two of them butt fucking.


It was a breathy whisper next to the smaller man’s ear and it drove him absolutely mad.


He moaned, pressing Mitt’s body closer to him until they were tight against each other. It was strange, the feeling of another man’s body against his. He’d never had such a sensation before. But, God, it felt so right. Why hadn’t he done this sooner?

Maybe because he’s a homophobe.

Mitt separated the other man’s legs with one of his thighs, pressing their bodies tight together and chuckling at the brush of stiffness against his leg. He had waited far too long for this, had wanted the man ever since he first met him. Now he had him. Now he was going to have him and he was absolutely desperate for it.

Ya know, I gotta give it to this author. If any of those two is going to be a top, it’s Mitt. I mean, look at Rick. He just screams sub.

Rick slid an unsteady hand up to curl in the other man’s hair, holding him where their lips greedily sucked and bit, breathing each other in. Mitt’s hot fingers found their way into Rick’s pants. The smaller man let out a strangled cry of surprise and pleasure, his face flushed. Mitt grew insistent, hands grabbing and lips pressing tight to the smaller man’s, desperate and determined to make Rick his, only his.

“Mine,” he muttered. “My Rick, mine.”


Mitt is also apparently possessive, like a fuckin dog with a stick. “MY Rick! MINE!!!!”


That’s all I have to say about that.

P.S. Since this is such a short entry, I’ll put a couple of others in the queue.

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